Positive Thinking: The Source of Negative Feelings about OurselvesMay 17, 2019
In last week’s blog, I detailed how absolute positive thinking has a negative effect on our making successful decisions. This week’s blog explores how positive thinking causes us to think and feel negatively about ourselves.
The absolute aspect of positive thinking creates “emotional thinking” which causes us to believe that we are our thoughts, projections and facades. It makes us unaware that the absolute positive personal paradigm is built on the belief that who we are is fundamentally lacking and defective.
The negative effects of “emotional thinking” cause us to feel bad about ourselves, as well as think and view ourselves negatively. The negative feedback of the thought pattern of absolute positive thinking is responsible for tricking us into thinking that we are positive, while also believing negative assumptions, beliefs and convictions about ourselves in a number of ways.
Accusatory Self-Talk: What Is Wrong With Me?
The first negative “emotional thought pattern” of absolute positive thinking is accusatory self-talk which causes us to be harsh on ourselves all the time. The constant replay of self-accusatory statements causes us to continually remember what we did “wrong” over and over again in our minds. It often causes us to constantly find fault with ourselves for not automatically knowing the “right” answers. Self-accusatory statements are responsible for our being our own biggest critics and blaming ourselves for everything which often results in many of us fundamentally disliking ourselves, and some even hating themselves. The “emotional thinking” of accusatory self-talk triggers our remembering all the times we were not absolutely right, not able to think of the perfect solution, or were one hundred percent successful which activated the old negative messages that we were conditioned into during early childhood.
The second negative “emotional thought pattern” of absolute positive thinking is self-depreciation which is created by constantly belittling ourselves and viewing ourselves as failures when something goes “wrong.” Depreciating self-talk has a negative effect in our lives by creating strong disbelief in ourselves. It often causes Baby Boomers to not even want to think about the transition process, be tentative about leaving full time positions, feel hesitant about leaving, and seriously doubt that they will be able to make successful departures out of their companies.
Comparison Self-Talk: They Are Successful; I Am Not.
The third negative “emotional thought pattern” of absolute positive thinking is comparison self-talk. The “all or nothing” perspective of absolute positive thinking causes us to make comparisons with other people. Deep down over the years, we knew when we did not meet our absolute standards or live up to other peoples’ expectations, and when we failed to do everything perfectly. The “Prism Effect” of absolute positive thinking creates self-deception which has us see other people as being perfect.
The negative “emotional thought pattern” of comparison self-talk creates the tendency for many to believe that other people are more special, since they had the “right” family background, went to the “right” schools, etc., which had us put them on a pedestal and wish that we were them. The comparison “emotional thought pattern” has us focus on other people’s strengths and ignore their weaknesses while minimizing the awareness of our own strengths and focusing on our weaknesses.
Expanded awareness, created by balancing the way we think, helps us realize that the reason why so many people who are disciples of the Gospel of Positive Thinking use absolute positive thinking is to pump themselves up because the majority of their waking hours are spent putting themselves down with negative self-talk. It also creates the realization that absolute thinking, be it negative or positive, is based on feeling negative about ourselves which in turn reinforces the stimulation of negative self-talk. Balanced thinking also makes us aware that what we are not our feelings or our thoughts.
Trying to think positively is a counterbalance to constantly feeling negative, and is an example of the power of balance. Balanced thinking stops the devaluation process of self-depreciation by helping us appreciate ourselves for who we are, incorporating both our positive and negative life experiences since they both got us to where we are today, and are inherent parts of our life story. Balanced thinking creates the realization that sometimes things work and sometimes they don’t and this is OK since it is just dynamic balance being played out in our lives. When you balance the way you think, you will go beyond self-doubt to self-assurance. You will also stop negatively comparing yourself with other people by knowing that everybody has their weaknesses as well as their strengths. Conversely, you have strengths as well as weaknesses.
Question: If positive thinking is so effective, why do you think, and do, negative things?
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