Who Are You Really?

Who Are You Really?  


The “Who Am I?” question is fundamental to how you live the rest of your life, since your answer defines who you are as a person, how you think about yourself, the way you see the world and what you do.

Over the years in the transition field, I have heard people describe themselves when they have left their companies, or their full-time positions, as if they’re falling into a “black hole.” This is created by their no longer having achievement and success attachments to identify with and not knowing who they really are at the core of their being. The gunslinger in the movie Jack Beauregard , played by Henry Fond, described  himself as “My Name is Nobody” which very much described me when I lost my ability to identify with accomplishment and success.

Being conditioned to identify with toxic emotions, negative assumptions and limiting beliefs during early childhood is the cause for living unhappy lives. I found that personal development was a waste of money. time and effort as long as I identified myself with limiting negativity and toxicity. To make a fundamental shift in my life I needed to expand what I identified myself with.

The façade of the False Self doesn’t want us to ask ourselves any deep questions because it fears that we will no longer identify with what supports its very existence: attachments and an exclusive focus on the external world.  An external identity was at the expense of my internal awareness which did not allow me to know who I really was at the core of my being. The lack of identifying with who we really are has major negative effects in society by creating polarization which causes us to identify ourselves exclusively as members of a religious, ethnic, economic class or group tribe. Recent studies have shown that identification with a church is more important than religious beliefs or rituals.

The key to changing what you identify yourself with is self-awareness since it is essential for self-knowledge. When you identify with the core of your being, achievements, roles or possessions no longer define who you are. This is important, since you need to know who you really are if you are ever going to know what you really want to do in life.

On my morning walk I pass a bicycle store. In their window there are two bikes which reminded me of an analogy of breaking the fusion between who we are and what we do. The unicycle bike is very much when our identities are fused with accomplishment. A two wheel bike represents a healthy separation between the back wheel, who we really are, and the front wheel, what we do.

Action Step

As the seat is in the middle of a two wheel bike, so center yourself between your internal being, the back wheel, and your external doing, the front wheel. This way you will be balanced and will be able to go the distance.


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